info @ the P.Pole 01.31.06

today is a tuesday, and today i am — as of 1100 hours — done my first semester, exams and all. let’s recap, shall we?

5 courses i had this past semester:

• SNC 2D7 — run of the mill pre-IB science class, with the fantastic Mr. Zupo
• ENG 2D7 — sub-par english course of the pre-IB level, taught by Ms. Abrakasa
• LUN 2CH — greatest class of the day; i’ve learned much from the dynamic duo, Mr. Sundviche and Ms. Chewsbucks
• MPM 2D7 — quite a lax pre-IB math course, taught by the sarcastic and wonderful Ms. Yeganegi (who i thought was the very essence of evil, until i had…)
• …FSF 2D7! — this pre-IB french course, tucked away neatly in the corner of the school, is home to none other than the much feared Mme Jhurry

this past semester hasn’t been nearly as hard as the build up had led me to believe. well, it can only get easier from here, since i’ve got civics and careers, history, and economics next semester. i’ve also got french again, with Mme Jhurry, but so do 75% of the grade 10 IB’s so yeah. that’s january and that semester, both over and done with for good. w00t.

hm, i’ve snapped many pictures of the people in my classes (mainly of my french class) but i don’t think i’ve got [many] pictures of friends from last year. i’m going to make it my goal from henceforth to get at least 1 picture of each person that i’ve known from last year for this coming semester. that’s going to be more fun for some people than others, but i will have a near complete collection come June, you just wait and see.

EDIT: thank you for the comment. that third period class really is a doozie. i mean, just check out the course code + teacher names. >_O

Scripture Readings

..are taken from Psalms 23-38, bold mine.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He retoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.
- Ps. 23:1-4

Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in His holy place?
He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
- Ps. 24:3-5

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
[...]Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
[...]Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
- Ps. 27: 1, 9, 14

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him.
The LORD is their strength, and He is the saving strength of His anointed.
Save Thy people, and bless Thine inheritance: feed them also, and lift them up for ever.
- Ps. 28:7-9

The voice of the LORD divideth the flames of fire.
[...]The LORD will give strength unto His people; the LORD will bless His people with peace.
- Ps. 29:9, 11

Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holiness.
For His anger endureth but a moment; in His favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved.
[...]What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise Thee? shall it declare Thy truth?
Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me: LORD, be Thou my helper.
- Ps. 30:4-6, 9-10

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.
[...]I acknowledge my sin unto Thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and Thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
- Ps. 32:1-2, 5

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Delight thyself also in the LORD: and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.
And He shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
[...]The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in His way.
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with His hand.
[...]For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not His saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.
The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.
The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.
The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.
The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.
The LORD will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.
[...]And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: He shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in Him.
- Ps. 37:3-6, 23-24, 28-33, 40

For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.
[...]Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me.
Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation.
- Ps. 38:18, 21-22

Taken

She has talked to me through my darkest of plights.
She has walked with me through the blackest of nights.

I would fell kingdoms for her, to fell her cold and deafened ears.
I can but seldom hold her and tell her, “There’s nothing to fear.”

If she took my hand, she would then blush even my ears.
If she gave her hand, my tears would stream for countless years.
- Larker, Taken

Hybrid Theory

remember the time i overview’d the FUCT — love the way that acronym sounds, btw — lyrics? well, here’s my tribute to my very first record bought, Hybrid Theory by the Linkin Park boys. i realize they are emo, but that is quite alright by my standards.

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here’s not right today.
[...] But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head.
Like a face that I hold inside,
A face that awakes when I close my eyes,
A face watches every time I lie.
A face that laughs every time I fall,
And watches everything.
- Papercut

I cannot take this anymore.
I’m saying everything I’ve said before.
[...] I find the answers aren’t so clear.
Wish I could find a way to disappear.
[...] Nothing seems to go away.
Over and over again.
- One Step Closer

A little taste of hypocrisy,
And I’m left in the wake of the mistake; slow to react.
Even though You’re so close to me,
You’re still so distant; and I can’t bring You back.
- With You

Forfeit the game, before somebody else
Takes you out of the frame, puts your name to shame.
Cover up your face, you can’t run the race.
The pace is too fast, you just won’t last.
- Points of Authority

Fear is how I fall.
[...] This lack of self-control I fear is never ending.
[...] Discomfort, endlessly, has pulled itself upon me.
Distracting, reacting.
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection.
It’s haunting how I can’t seem…
To find myself again, my walls are closing in.
- Crawling

All my talk of taking action, these words were never true.
Now I find myself in question. They **I point the finger at me again.
Guilty by association,You **I point the finger at me again.
- Runaway

If I turn my back I’m defenseless. And to go blindly seems senseless.
[...] If I let them go, I’ll be outdone. But if I try to catch them, I’ll be outrun.
If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer,
Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer, by myself.
- By Myself

It starts with one thing; I don’t know why,
It doesn’t even matter how hard You **I try.
[...] I had to fall to lose it all.
[...] Remembering all the times You fought with me.
I’m surprised it got so far.
Things aren’t the way they were before.
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore.
- In The End

I watch how the Moon sits in the sky, in the dark night,
Shining with the light from the Sun **Son.
The Sun doesn’t give light to the Moon assuming
The Moon’s going to owe it one.
It makes me think of how You act to me.
- Place For My Head

A little piece of paper with a picture drawn floats
On down the street till the wind is gone.
The memory now is like the picture was then:
When the paper’s crumpled up it can’t be perfect again.
In the memory You’ll find me, eyes burning up.
The darkness holding me tightly,
Until the Sun **Son rises up.
- Forgotten

Everything falls apart.
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down.
[...] The sacrifice is never knowing…
Why I **You never walked away.
Why I **You played myself **Yourself this way.
- Pushing Me Away

good stuff. good, hard, emo stuff.

Psalm 16:9-11

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.
Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
- Psalm 16:9-11 KJV

EDIT: an excerpt from the Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard:

Shame seems most widespread and deepest among the very people who take rightness and goodness most seriously. It is a dimension of condemnation that reaches into the deepest levels of our souls. In shame we are self-condemned for being the person we are. It touches our identity and causes self-rejection. We feel ourselves to be a failure just for being the person we are. We wish to be someone else. But of course we cannot. We are trapped, and our life is made hopeless.
This explains why discrimination against people because of the kind of person they are, their identity, is so hateful and destructive. It also explains why the gospel of the kingdom has such transforming power in human life. For that gospel opens the kingdom to everyone, no matter their classification, and it enables us really to become a different kind of person, beyond all condemnation, blame, and shame, and to know it. Those who mourn, when they step into the kingdom of the heavens, are “given beauty in place of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of grief, and garments of praise in place of a spirit of despair” (Isa. 61:3)

info @ the P.Pole 01.23.06

click title for a screenshot of an msn convo i had with Sanvir.

5 highlights of my school day:

• i had my french oral exam today — nothing particularly hilarious, though i did somehow — miraculously — managed to — be given, rather than to — come up with sneaky and many ways to use proper vocab + verbs, which was kinda… scary and cool, seeing as how i hadn’t even reviewed the questions going into it *to make more obvious, points at God*
• i snapped a picture (sneakily, ninja-like) of Vishaka and Mihika frenching in front of my locker — i KNEW i carried a camera for a reason, and the clumsily lip-locked lovers weren’t particularly happy with it, but sure were soaking in the attention willingly.
• i was sat on (on my lap) while i was busy playing cards — have you no shame?! unwelcome, UNwelcome!
• i managed to totally piss off a supply teacher (filling in for my amazingly cool math teacher) who turned out to be my next semester economics teacher — i just hope he’s a total nitwit (of which i am already convinced he is), so that he doesn’t recognize my face in a couple weeks
• my friend, Sanvir, and i were sitting at opposite sides of the bus when a dashing young woman (i assumed this, as he kept eyeing her), of about 20 or so years came and, after careful analysis, decided to park herself beside me — it was awkward and hilarious to see Sanvir ogling her as i sat by, minding my own business, and then to see him start giving me cut-eye; it was funny

EDIT: i’ve decided to set that photo as my msn background because it is an all-purpose, hilarious photo. it works anywhere! from staring at my desktop icons to staring at my msn convos. great stuff.

teacher’s pet peeve

so yeah, i went to ‘Honk’ @ Dorinda’s school saturday night. that was pretty cool. it’s just not the same as professional productions — and that’s what i liked about it. that, and all the duck-sex jokes. the entire thing had a very different feel to most other musical’s i’ve seen — not that many — and it was very well done. the singing was, a few moments excluded, very good for high school kids.
i’ve had a busy week, with… i honestly don’t know. snapping pictures of school friends and whatnot. i predict i will be doing that next week also, as well as copying an assignment that won’t be checked/worth marks off of someone else for french. i… refuse to apply myself at tasks worth nothing more than a completion mark. especially not when i’ve got nothing to worry about. all that nothing on my mind is really not weighing me down.
IB kids rule. yeah, the ones who spend all day studying for exams and all period arguing over one puny test mark. it’s great because while they are busy arguing, i get to sleep in class or socialize with equally not-IB friends, or whatever. i remember one time where i kept doing the ‘brap thing’ in class and no one cared because everyone — teacher included — was too busy figuring out a math problem. another time, my friend and i were lighting deodorant bodyspray (ex: Axe or Adidas spray) on fire at the back of art class. great times.

here’s a little dialogue from one of my classes (hyperbole mine):

Teacher: okay guys, here’s a work sheet for you to work on. do your best.
Carl: miss, what is this?
Teacher: what is it now, Carl? this is a worksheet. it’s to teach you things i might have skipped by accident in my lesson.
Carl: oh, so if i believe in your teaching abilities, i don’t have to do it right?
Teacher: …just do the damn worksheet.
Carl: [...]
Teacher: [begins marking some tests]
Carl: what’d that person get?
Teacher: what?! that’s none of your business.
Carl: was it mine? i have a right to know if it was mine, and since it might be mine, it might as well be mine and so, my business.
Teacher: …what?!
Carl: yeah, nevermind. miss, can i take the liberty of not doing this?
Teacher: no Carl. do it.
Carl: …y’gonna make me?
Teacher: well, no… but it’s to help you to understand it and to get comfortable.
Carl: what happens if i already get it? wouldn’t i be wasting our time?
Teacher: well, you won’t be wasting my time.
Carl: i would, because you’d have to stay and supervise my working on this stuff.
Teacher: fine. waste my time. now will you get to work like the rest of the class?
Carl: sure. let’s see…
[30 seconds later]
Carl: man, this is gay.
Teacher: what was that?
Carl: this is gay.
Teacher: [throws marking pen down] Carl! i can’t believe you said that. [points to anti-homophobia poster]
Carl: yeah, and? i’m not afraid of the sheet. i just don’t like it very much. it’s ugly.
Teacher: which question are you on?
Carl: three.
Teacher: wow, you must be enjoying this stuff if you worked that fast.
Carl: not really. i did every other five letters.
Teacher: you were supposed to do every letter.
Carl: oh, i just figured you meant that as more of a set of guidelines…
Teacher: [throws hands into the air] oh whatever. skip however many you want. just don’t let me know.
Carl: [starts packing books away]
Teacher: [massages temples]

EDIT: wow, that was a heck of a lot of comments. i don’t get very many comments anymore, here on the P.Pole. this was a semi-exaggerated conversation between my math teacher and i.
btw, to the lady in red, i recall seeing — not being –someone who was studying/ doing homework at church. if you ask me, that’s pretty nerdy (and proud of it too, since they were displaying their nerdiness in public). well, that’s okay. i’ll have a NAP (it’s not too hard to figure out what that means, is it?) and be all the more glad for it.

EDIT 2: courtesy of dictionary.com

nerd (n): an insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected or studying excessively

Tug-O-War-O-Life

Whoa, I’ve been banging my head against the wall,
Whoa, for so long it seems I knocked it down,
Yeah, it got knocked down.
Whoa, and the heating bill went through the roof,
Whoa, and the wall I knocked down was the proof,
That my Landlord needed to kick me out.

I got evicted, now I’m living on the street.
My spirit’s lifted… Oh wait, that wasn’t me.
Too many turns have turned out to be wrong.
This time I learned that, I knew it all along.

Car crashes occur, then I’ll be what You were,
When I see what I should, when I see that it’s good.
To experience the bittersweet, to taste defeat, then brush my teeth.
Experience the bittersweet, to taste defeat, then brush my teeth.

‘Cause I struggle with foward motion.
I struggle with foward motion.
We all struggle with foward motion.
‘Cause foward motion is harder than it sounds.
Well every time I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again.
It’s harder than it sounds.
Well every time I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again.

Whoa, I’ve been banging my head against the wall,
Whoa, for so long it seems I got knocked out,
Yeah, I got knocked out cold.
Whoa, and the medical bills went through the roof,
Whoa, and the scar on my head is the proof,
That I’ll still remember this when I get old.

I got evicted, now I’m living on the street.
My spirit’s lifted… Oh wait, that wasn’t me.
Too many turns have turned out to be wrong.
This time I learned that, I knew it all along.

When I grasp this concept, then I’ll sleep where You slept.
When I know I need help, when I allow myself
To experience the bittersweet, to taste defeat, then brush my teeth.
Experience the bittersweet, to taste defeat, then brush my teeth.
- Relient K, Forward Motion

EDIT: losing the battles isn’t a lot of fun.

info @ the P.Pole 01.17.06

so my laser tag got postponed until next tuesday (it’s a crappy drive out there), and since i’ve neglected posting this week’s session, here it is:

5 of my favourite foods:

• cinnamon buns — for my sweet tooth, and they’re sweeter home-made
• lasagna and other pastas — for my tomato/ cheese/ ground beef/ italian tooth
• curry beef and taters on rice — for my insatiable spicy/ cow/ hot cow tooth
• korean barbeque — for my huge cow/ pig/ sheep/ chicken/ korean tooth
• sushi — for my fishy/ japanese/ fishy japanese tooth

What else could a decent man have done?

I’m under attack again my dear. I’m in the way.
Got no resolutions, no clever anecdotes to say,
And still if I yell at the top of my lungs will it be the same?
I’d fly you a flag; I’d bury this pen into my veins!

I wanna feel through you tonight…
But I won’t make you (I won’t make you).

The telephone number I got for you says, ‘Nobody’s home.’
The best thing I can think to do right now is leave it alone.
And you had an apology in your mailbox since last July.
It’s funny when you find the words to say you find no reply.

I wanna feel through you tonight…
But I won’t make you (I won’t make you).
Scream my name just one more time.
I wanna feel through you tonight…
But I won’t make you.

And it’s been hours now,
To be here like this.
And just to lay you down,
And just to taste your lips,
And just to keep me up.
God I’m tired of sleeping.
And just to lay inside you,
And just to know this feeling…

I wanna feel through you tonight…
But I won’t make you (I won’t make you).
Scream my name just one more time.
I wanna feel through you tonight…
But I won’t make you (I won’t make you).
- Something Corporate, I Won’t Make You

I do realize that some of the words will remind some readers of sex (and if they didn’t, I just did) but hey, I’m trying my best to consider ‘feel through you’ and ‘lay inside you’ as describing knowing someone in an intimate way. Okay, so not the best way to say it but you know what I mean, you gutter-heads.